Just took my morning after pill in the library
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
