yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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