but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
