btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
