Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
