coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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