Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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