We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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