no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
whose ass print is on the piano?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
