So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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