where am i from again
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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