How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
