Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
