$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
