I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
