I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
