can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My penis needs a shock collar
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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