It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
