Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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