Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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