I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
