summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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