We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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