But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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