Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I currently don't understand fingers.
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