at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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