haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
