Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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