I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
