6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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