so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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