I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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