Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
