You can't motorboat a personality
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I will pee on everything he values.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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