first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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