that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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