Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
