does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
