This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
These tits shall not be calmed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
