The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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