Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
worst night to have a conscience
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
