put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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