i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
