I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
