PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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