My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
