Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
