so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
