I think I died a long time ago.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I understand Curling. That high.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
