Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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