is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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